Me, chapter 151

So, the writing thing I went to last night was...interesting. I guess it just wasn't what I was expecting. I thought it would be filled with people in their 20's, who all write like David Sedaris, and make witty, intellectual comments about each others work. Not true...it was indeed 5 people- myself, Joe, a high school english teacher, and two old women. Needless to say, I was skeptical. Or maybe that's not needless to say, maybe I'm just prejudice against the elderly. I decided to read a little of my "work"...meaning, random thoughts written down with no point, no direction- much like my blogs. I just wanted to get an opinion of what I could do with my writing. The HS teacher suggested I write an advice column and just use the questions as a format to go off on my own random tangents. Nice, but I don't think I could really even give the initial advice. He also said that I'm very self-involved. If I wanted to lie, I would say I was shocked, but he pretty much hit the nail on the head. I am, but I think that's completely typical for people at this stage in our lives. Or I'm just making an excuse for my self-indulgent behavior. Old woman to my left asked what I wanted to do with my life, to which I responded, "I'm undeclared". Undeclared- it's freshman year all over again. I feel lame admitting this, and I don't know why, but when I spoke at this alumni seminar, I had everyone laughing with my random (apparantly, everything is random about me) stories and quirky anecdotes and amusing mannerisms- and afterwards everyone telling me how funny I was. And I loved the high I got from this- maybe it's the attention, maybe it's that boost of self-esteem I constantly crave, whatever it is, I just want to have that feeling for the rest of my life. I just need to figure out how.
Reagan